To my unborn daughter......

Dear baby girl,



Well here we are, you and me, with less than six weeks to go before we meet face to face. I can hardly believe it! It seems so long since I've dreamed of you and waited for you - taking over a year to conceive you; now a little over a month away from your due date.


I want to put into words what I've been thinking about before we're thrown in the mix of your dirty diapers, crying fits and sleepless nights. Before I become zombie mom once again and I am walking around with one sock on, no bra and haven't brushed my teeth or showered all day.


You're going to be my very first daughter, my fourth child. But that in no way means that you will be lost in the mix or the forgotten caboose. Sure you'll get your big brother’s hand me down toys, blankets and more. But you'll still be You, my beautiful little girl. The little girl that I have waited for. You will be your own unique, individual self unlike any other. You'll be just as special, just as lucky and just as loved in our hearts.


In fact I think you're getting the better end of the deal because you'll have so much love around you right from the beginning. Three big brothers have been waiting to meet you for so long. That's right, from the beginning and even before you are born. You have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, a mom and a dad and brothers all of which love you! They tell me that they can’t wait to meet you and pray for you every single day. I know they love you already. They ask about you. They rub my belly and talk to you. They hug you. They can't wait for your arrival.


Can you feel this love, I wonder? Will you feel loved right from your first breath into the world? You are one lucky loved little girl.


I cannot wait to see you. I cannot wait to hold you. I feel you moving inside me all the time and I just wonder what you'll be like. Will you be another baldy with light colored eyes like Dallin? Or will you come out with dark hair and dark skin, more like Parker and Landon? Will you snuggle with me and let me rock you? Will you know me instantly? When will you first smile at me?


I may not have read all of the pregnancy books this time around. I haven't journaled this pregnancy like I did with the boys (other than the blog) but it's because I have more confidence this time. I have more faith in you and me. I hope that confidence will be instilled in you somehow, that you'll just know you are special and destined for greatness.


You may have to cut me a little slack in the beginning. It's been over five years since I've dealt with the baby stage (aka the high maintenance phase). I may be a bit rusty in knowing what to do or how to calm you but I promise we'll get through it. I am always here for you and you will be the first priority for me.


I feel like with you around, our family will finally be (and feel) complete. I've always envisioned myself with a family of six and you're my last piece of the puzzle. I can't wait to see the new joys you'll bring us and all the laughter we'll do over watching you grow, explore and shape our lives.


It will be amazing to watch your big brothers hold you and talk to you. That special bond you're going to share with your brothers will be incredible! You will (hopefully) have best friends and protectors for life. I'm so happy I can give you that gift of friendship right from the day you are born. I hope you and your brothers will nurture each other and foster a positive relationship for the rest of your lives.


Despite the stinky poop, the spit up, the worrying, the teething and the fears, I know that this next year will be one to cherish between you and me. You'll be receiving my improved mothering skills, my better attitude and my whole heart . You see, I've gone through this before; therefore I know I can do it again with you and it will be easier and I can focus on enjoying you, not just getting through the day/night. I won’t be chasing after tiny little boys this time around. Things will be different. You will be different. You are different. I am different and we'll be an amazing team, you and me. We'll be a sassy, non-stop duo. And with your Dad and your brothers, we'll be great.


Just wait and see my lovely daughter. Wait and see.


That's what I'm doing.... waiting to see you. Waiting for your arrival. Waiting to love you even more than I already do. Waiting to see how much happiness you bring us all.


I love you, now and forever.


Mom