Baseball

This weekend was FULL of baseball. Parker had a tournament in Pocatello on Friday and Saturday. We actually had to get up at 5:30 on Saturday morning to get down to the 8:00am game! YIKES! Parker's team really struggled and it was hard to watch. It was early, the kids were tired and they had two games back to back. It was a great learning experience for them though. Parker played great out in the field and he pitched on Friday and Saturday. Friday's game went a lot better for him then Saturday's game. I think he stressed himself out big time. Oh well, onto the next game.

My friend Amber took some pictures during the game. I LOVE them. My Parker bear is sure a handsome guy!

The May Madness is here in full swing. End of school activities, t-ball, scouts, playing outside and trying to PACK!! Its seriously insanity.

A little life update

Our Anna is now 10 months old! I can't believe she'll be ONE in a couple of months. She still has no teeth. She does the army crawl and she can go from laying down to sitting up now! She LOVES to dance. She rocks right with the beat and shakes her head like she is saying NO NO NO. She loves to pull the cat's tail, go on walks outside and loves to sit up in the cart when she goes shopping with mommy! I love this little one!

Nate and I are celebrating 12 years of marital bliss today! It's hard to believe that the years just keep blitzing by!

 Last night we took Anna and enjoyed a nice dinner out. We talked about where we thought we would be after 12 years of marriage and about some of our favorite adventures along this road of life. The date ended on a bit of a "shitty" note as Anna decided to poop all over herself, all over her dress and up her back. I ran to the bathroom, stripped her down and gave her a spit bath in the sink. Seriously.....all we could do was laugh. This is our crazy life together. We love it.

Our house is coming a long although I really don't think they'll have it done by the June 1st deadline. They have SO much to do it baffles my mind. The baseboards and headers over the doors are going in this week and I have started to pack a little bit. I just never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next so when I'm feeling good I try to take advantage and pack a box or two.

We're heading into an all things baseball weekend as Parker has a tournament in Pocatello. He is going to pitch and we're pretty excited for him!

Utah yet again!

Last weekend we headed down to UT again! Seems like we've been down there a lot lately! Nate had a bike race and I wanted to be there for Nate's Aunt's surprise 60th birthday. She has been so sweet to us since we have moved to Idaho Falls and her kids were throwing her a big bash down in UT so I wanted to be there to support her. I laughed, I cried. I'm grateful for the tender mercy I received while sitting there watching this wonderful woman surrounded by her children while they celebrated her and recognized her. Life is all about FAMILY. I'm grateful to be a mom. I'm grateful for my husband and our children. Life is precious. 

Those Samoans know how to throw a rocking party! The next day we went to Thanksgiving Point for the Tulip Festival with the cousins. It was a beautiful and perfect day to be there.

 We played hard, and ran ourselves into the ground. I'm going to try to not complain about being pregnant but man.....it's exhausting. Especially when you already have a baby to take care of.

 Guess I wasn't the only tired one!

Happy Birthday Landon!

Landon had a fantastic 6th birthday yesterday! He invited 6 friends and we had a great old time celebrating  in NINJA fashion!

We played lots of games. We picked up cotton balls with chopsticks, threw ninja stars, played "hide the ninja" and who can keep their balloon up in the air the longest with their ninja sword? Then we went into the backyard and did a little ninja training.

Mr. Landon,

I can hardly believe you are 6 years old today! You are so strong willed and don't let people boss you around....especially your big brothers. You are sweet and obedient and sometimes difficult and stubborn. You have a very tender spot for your sister and of all the brothers you are the MOST excited to become a big brother yet again. You love to go to kindergarten and you have so many friends it is hard to keep up with all of them! I love how in the mornings you are my "neat freak" boy. You are always telling me that we need to clean the house and have a pick up party. You hate messes and can't stand to have a dirty house even for a day! You love sports, your millions of "blankees" all of your "pets" and your family and your cat. I love all of your stories that always start with "Guess what? Guess what?"
I'm grateful for you and your sweet spirit. You never let us go to bed without prayers, hugs and kisses. I sure love you sweetheart. Happy Birthday big boy!

Love,

Mom

Our big news.

About 6 weeks ago I finished this little project. I found an old screen and decided I loved the color and so I put 4 blown up pictures of my 4 beautiful kids inside. As I stood back to admire my completed project I felt full of love and joy that my 4 kids are all here healthy and happy. I felt such peace knowing my family was complete and I was so excited thinking about our future and how I would hang these pictures in our new house. A new chapter of life was beginning.

Ironic isn't it?

A couple of weeks later I noticed that Anna was losing interest in nursing, she wasn't gaining any weight and I was feeling extremely lethargic. I seriously thought I had cancer or something. I don't know why I decided to purchase a pregnancy test because I really didn't think that was what was going on. After all, when the Doctor tells your husband he is STERILE, and I am nursing a baby, AND it took over a year to get her here because of all sorts of medical intervention.........really? That couldn't have even been a POSSIBILITY.

I took the test later that day. 2 lines popped right up. I saw the test, THREW it in a bathroom drawer and SLAMMED the door shut. I started to cry. No. Freaking. Way. I thought I was dreaming. I thought I was having a nightmare. Nate was going to DIE. How was I going to tell him?

I planned to tell him later on that evening. We went up to the new house and he was wiring all of the surround sound. He looked so cute in his tool belt and was so focused on the project at hand. I didn't have the heart to tell him. I waited until that night. He asked me if something was wrong. I nodded my head and started to sob. "We're having ANOTHER baby."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Was his response.

After a mini freak out session he came back around. He told me that OBVIOUSLY this child was meant to be in our home. There were just too many obstacles to overcome for this to just happen. I had no idea how far along I was. I've only had one period since I've had Anna because I've been nursing. I was guessing I was somewhere between 7-12 weeks along.

 Nate has been my rock through this. He has maintained a positive attitude and kept me laughing. I don't know what I would do without him. My favorite line so far has been, "No need to add on to our new house...it already has a new addition!" He is excited about this. I am getting there.

For awhile I felt nothing but guilt. Making my Anna have to grow up faster than necessary. How will I be able to support the boys in all of their sports and events when I am busy chasing after a tiny toddler and a newborn baby? Where am I going to find the energy to keep up with 5 children? Only CRAZY people have 5 kids! How are we going to PAY for all of these kids? How am I going to give them all the attention that they need? How am I going to survive with NO family around?

I found a quote by Richard G. Scott that has been keeping me afloat though. He says:

"A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle. Cast on the ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth."

When I told my dad the news I loved his response. "You'll never regret having another member in your family. That is what life is all about." He even ventured to say, "After your brother left on his mission I wished with all my heart that we had another one."

I'm grateful for my family. My extended family. My sweet friends. I feel buoyed up by their support and love. I've had so many friends here in Idaho Falls come running to help me. They've come to help me clean my house, they've made me dinner, they've made me laugh and offered to watch kids, help me pack, or just go out to lunch so I don't have to cook. My dear Emily calls me and forces me to go and pick up my medicine (which, by the way is REALLY helping). I'm so thankful and grateful for each one of them.

My saving grace for the time being is knowing that my sweet Anna will have a sibling close in age. I always worried about the 5 year age difference between her and the boys. I'm glad she will have a little sibling (crossing my fingers for a SISTER) that she can play with and grow up with. Looks like they will be 16 months apart. Whoa. That's so close!!!

We told the boys the news about a week ago. Here were their responses:

Landon: "YESSS!!! When will she be here?"

Parker: "Really Mom? We get 2 miracles now? I can't believe we'll have 7 people in our family! Can I tell my friends?"

Dallin: "That's awesome. Can this be the last one please?"

I'm sure once I start feeling a bit better that I will be more excited about this whole thing. It's not that I don't want another sweet spirit to join the crazy Duggar....er, Starnes family. I'm just overwhelmed. I'm holding that pebble up to my eye and I need to cast it down on the ground. It will be hard for awhile but we'll make it through. We always do one way or another. ☺

Read this post.

So, I haven't been the best blogger for a few weeks. I have a very good reason. I have a reason that you probably won't believe because I too am still trying to wrap my mind around it.

I'm really sick.

I'm totally exhausted.

I've been weaning my baby.

I'm an emotional wreck.

I'm so stressed out I feel like I'm getting an ulcer.

I pretty much cried non stop for about 2 weeks.

I'm supposed to be packing up to move in a few more weeks but have lost any and all motivation.

I'm totally and completely freaking out.

My house has never been such a mess. EVER.


Why do you ask?


Because Starnes baby number 5 will be joining us in November:




Shocked? Stunned? Blown away? Overwhelmed? Want to curl up in fetal position and just take a nap?

Yeah, me too.

6 more weeks!

6 weeks is all that we have to go until the big moving day. I'm so excited to see the changes over the next month and a half. It'll be fun to see the rock on the outside go up, the deck on the back and the kitchen.....oh, how I worry about that kitchen. I'm getting so excited but so NOT excited about the whole idea of PACKING once again. BLEH!It's coming right along!!! Exciting times!

A GIRLS Getaway

Not doing Women's Conference this year. There are a few reasons but the biggest one is the fact that Anna can't come along so some friends of mine from Boise decided to come down and have a little "Girls Retreat" instead. My in laws graciously opened their home up to us and we had a great couple of days shopping, eating, staying up late and just getting some good quality GIRL time! It was wonderful. It was VERY much needed! Suzy and Cynthia met up with us (they used to live in Boise but now live in Utah) and my best friend from birth Ashley joined us as well. It was so FANTASTIC.

We did IKEA, Traverse Mountain Outlets, City Creek, Cheesecake Factory, Rubio's, Orange Leaf,  Zupa's and even had a little bit of time to go visit my Grandma Rufener. I'm grateful for good uplifting friends who are encouraging loving and so much fun. They are all so great and were all so helpful with Anna. I never even had to set that girl in the stroller because someone would scoop her right up and love on her. I'm grateful that Nate could manage all things at the home front too. Me time is important and I'm thankful that he recognizes that and bends over backwards to make that possible.

State Champs!

 Man, I'm sure getting behind here on the old blog! Last week was a very monumental week for us. The boys competed in the State Science Fair competition at the good old Discovery Center. It was so great to head over to Boise and have so many family and friends there to support the boys! After announcing the 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade winners in the 4th grade division Parker and Dallin hung their heads and tried to conceal their tears. I wasn't giving up hope though yet. The overall winners were announced next and the boys won BEST of CATEGORY in the science experiment division. That is pretty much the BEST of the BEST award you can possibly get. I teared up a little....I'm not going to lie.

It was such a special experience for the boys. I am so proud of them and for all of the work they put in to their project. State Champs....YEAH!!!!